With zero experience with NixOS, I grabbed an unused $60 LTE-enabled laptop bought in a fire sale during the pandemic and an LTE SIM card to build a router for my newly purchased home so I could have the minimal Internet necessary for its security system and home automation without having to record what I did in case the laptop died.

I did this in a few hours with less than 100 lines of Nix. I did not think that it would be this easy. It served my Internet needs for several months without failure.

This talk will cover some hijinks of NixOS, using LTE for home internet somewhere you don't yet live, and the joy of things that Just Work... when they work.